My life is full of the “trying to make it all work” mentality.
With working full-time and growing my own business, I’m constantly hustling and working. Since I love what I do, it’s 100% all-in for me.
With 5 kids, all with full plates of activities and appointments and busy schedules, I’m constantly trying to make sure all the pieces to everything that they do are neatly put into place. Does it always happen effortlessly? No. Do I try every single time? Yes.
With my husband, I’m constantly trying to make sure we have our date nights (which usually is a movie, the couch and a beer/wine once the kids go to bed) and always on top of what each of us is doing. He runs his own company, too – so many times we’re like passing ships. Since he’s very passionate about what he does, it’s a constant back and forth to make sure we both get what we need professionally. Since he’s a BIG supporter of me and vice versa, we do our very best to make it all work.
With managing the house… well, staying on top of the cleaning, organization, laundry, chores and just everything else that managing a house entails, I’m constantly making to-do lists and doing the very best I can to bring it all together. Nobody likes a bathroom without toilet paper.
Balancing it all? Juggling everything up in the air?
Come on, there are so many balls… there’s no way even an expert juggler could make it look easy.
I’ve often said over the years that there are days I’m a really good business woman and there are days I’m a really a good mom and there are days I’m a really good wife… on the day(s) that all 3 worlds merge, it’s an EPIC DAY. It hardly ever happens, but when it does… it’s EPIC on a massive scale.
Last Friday, I had the opportunity to interview Kristen Bell with Vera. We brought up the “balance” question because even though we don’t know her, just from seeing what she posts online and chooses to share, she seems to have a pretty good seesaw effect of mom life and work life. She even had her kids with her in NYC during her interviews, which I thought was admirable and adorable. I love a family that travels together. As her makeup girl was touching her up before our shoot, she asked her if she had heard from her kids yet, and the makeup girl hadn’t. Kristen laughed and said that they were having fun without her! I loved seeing this real mom moment because we ALL get it. There are times when momma’s gotta work, it can’t be all play (as much as it would be nice). But… when we asked Kristen about balance, she echoed the fact that there isn’t one and shared things that she does in her life to try to keep everything moving and happy. One tip – she tries her VERY best not to work on the weekends. That’s her line in the sand. After our conversation, I shared the full interview on Facebook and one of my dear friends from childhood wrote that the “new” word is blend, not balance… and I LOVED that.
It’s not a balance, it’s a blend.
It makes so much more sense because that’s exactly what it is that I’m doing and what the hundreds and hundreds of other women I chat with online are doing, too. We’re trying our very best to blend our different worlds to make everything work.
I love being a mom. It’s everything to me.
I love being a wife. It’s everything to me, too.
I love owning my own business and working. It’s everything to me, too, too!
I can’t be all 100% of the time to the best of my ability, but I can (to the best of my ability) blend my worlds as much as I can.
When I’m at home with my kids and my husband, I’m home. If I need to work while I’m home… my version of blending is sometimes bringing my kids/husband into my work or making sure I have the ability to get some work done while they’re home, doing other things. I know my 4 sons understand that I have to work, but my daughter doesn’t yet. So when mom’s home, she thinks mom’s home. She thinks it’s playtime. So within these moments, it’s trying my best to blend the worlds.
It’s never going to be a perfect formula or equation. I know I’m always going to feel that I wish I could give more here or there, but it’s not possible. I know this now, I have accepted this years ago.
But blending, not trying to balance everything… it makes so much more sense to me. Everything doesn’t always have to be its own separate box, we can mix things up and still make it work.
Can we have it all?
I don’t know. I don’t know the answer to this yet. I’m trying the best I can. I don’t do playdates regularly. I just sent out invites to my son’s birthday party last week and it’s 2 weeks away (with invites still to go out). I forgot to help my son Henry study for his spelling test last week. I had to reschedule a conference call because someone was sick last week and it threw the work week off a bit. I didn’t have the opportunity to write as much content as I wanted to last week for the blog. And travel last week was crazier than usual.
But you know what? Everyone survived and still… stuff got done. Everyone’s happy. Everyone’s healthy. My business didn’t shut down. LOL… it’s stopping to take a deep breath and also giving yourself some slack sometimes. We don’t run like machines, we’re human.
I’m just going to keep remembering the mantra… it’s a blend, not a balance… it’s a blend, not a balance.
That works for me much better.