Being able to release your mom guilt is something all moms should do. It is something all moms should be striving for. The thing is this type of guilt just isn’t helpful. All moms feel guilty about something at some point during motherhood. Some of us feel more guilt than others.
For moms who rely on someone else to care for their child, even if it’s just for a couple hours, the guilt can be enormous. Some moms feel guilty about not being able to spend as much time with their child as they wanted. Others may even feel guilty that they feel relief when their child is being cared for by someone else.
Whether it is a full-day daycare for a newborn, a half-day preschool for a 4 year old, or an after school program for your middle schooler, the guilt can be overbearing. However, for most women, finding quality child care is a necessity. Here are five tips to release your mom guilt.
4 Ways to Release Your Mom Guilt
1. Acknowledge it.
Experts say that you should acknowledge your emotions. Don’t run from them! If you are sad you will miss some things that happen when you are at work, acknowledge that. Let yourself be sad for a time, but don’t linger in the sadness. Remember to also contemplate all the things you gain from working outside the home. Acknowledge the pain instead of dismissing or downplaying it.
2. Remember why you work.
Make a list of all the tangible and intangible things you get out of working. Write that list down! Post it somewhere you can see it. Maybe it includes paying for the mortgage, or a family trip to Disney, or saving your sanity. You are providing some valuable financial support to your family that is valuable.
3. Eliminate guilt-inducing people.
You heap enough guilt on yourself, right? If you have people in your life who make you feel bad when you’re around them get rid of them! These people question your choices. They talk down to you. They are always telling you what you “should” be doing. Stay away from those people. They probably have their own insecurities and want to bring you down too.
4. Build in quality time.
One of the things that may increase your mom guilt is that you aren’t spending enough time with your child. To combat that, build in quality time each day. Eat breakfast together. Snuggle for 10 minutes at bedtime. Plan a special outing one weekend. Go for a hike or maybe something as simple as going out for breakfast together would work. Focus on the time you do spend with your child instead of the time you are apart.
Bottom line: Let it go!
Release your mom guilt. Believe that you are making the right choices for your family. When you feel guilt starting to take hold, refuse to allow it. Know you are doing the best you can. Guilt is probably inevitable for moms, but it does not have to overwhelm you. Let it go. There will be something else to feel guilty about soon enough.